my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
