I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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