Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
