Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
