dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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