I think im going to throw up on grandma
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
