I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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