Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
