found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
