She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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