Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
