what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
