I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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