is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
