i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
