your thong is hanging out like whoa
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
