More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
