I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
