i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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