Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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