Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
