I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize