I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
