I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
