You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
