So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
