Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
