Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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