God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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