I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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