I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
