Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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