Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
