Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
