Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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