I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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