Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
