You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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