i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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