Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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