My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
