That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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