NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
