Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
