Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
