If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
