It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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