i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
