So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
