called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
