"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just google imaged poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize