i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
