i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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