well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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