Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
