Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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