You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
