wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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