I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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