well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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